Saw these on MSN and laughed myself silly


The Oz Ammies go to America:


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When the Amici board wouldn't load up, the Ammies called tech support:


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BB Supporters:


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For our lovely 'seasoned' Ammies:


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Randoms:



Doesn't wherefore art thou mean 'why are you' and not 'where are you'?
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ahahaha... that was funny!! :lol:

Thanks gevine.. What a good start to my day! It's 5.30am at the moment...

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Haha - those are great, thanks for the giggles Gevine! :lol:

Tee hee, I like the thong one.

Hi Jo! What on earth are you doing online at this hour of the morning?????????????????????? Isn't it about twenty past one am where you are????

Hi Viv, yep...it's 1:20am here. I'm in serial insomniac mode at present as my neighbours 6 years old gandson is staying and at present is drowning out Amici at full blast with a tantrum. Sleep may not be easy to come by tonight me thinks! :?

Jo x

Hilarious Gevine - I can relate to a couple of those!! :cry:

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~Lily~
First Sydney Ammiratore and "A Usual Suspect"
"If music be the food of love, play on"

Those are funny!! I like the first two! :lol:

Hope this offends no one. :?

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard.

Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

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Hey everyone! I'm a newbie. If I started off bad...with a bad joke that is, I'll make sure I'll make up for that! My name is Sarah, btw. :D

LOL Sarah....That's one of my favourite jokes... that I can remember... and is G rated.

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I have joke involving intestines, hunting, short prayer and a sharp stick...which isn't G rated. :lol:

Gevine! Hi! Nice to see you - it seems like ages since we've been on together. How is everything? Sorry, I don't have many jokes... need Jack here to tell some Irish ones.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

When I say "Move!", it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note - placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help,because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything larger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used, is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years; canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is to kiss me, then go smell the other dog's or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

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Oh yeah - love that one! I'll have to rake back through a dimming memory to see if I can think of any that are not "X" rated :shock:

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~Lily~
First Sydney Ammiratore and "A Usual Suspect"
"If music be the food of love, play on"

I have a couple of friends who are constantly sending me funny pics and jokes- so should have a steady stream to post here. Although some do tend on the risque side.

One of the latest:

A new range of Barbies that are commiserate with her aging status...

and NONE repeat NONE (well maybe Flabby Arms Barbie and ...wishful thinking... Mid Life Crisis Barbie ..taking off with an Alonzo..or David ..or Nick...) apply to me.....
and I'm sure I speak for other Amici Boomers...cos we ain't going to admit to anything else!


1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain, and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.

3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus with tummy-support panels are included.

5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines
with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive
age-blasting cosmetics.

7. Soccer Mum Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for
Babs and Ken, Jr.. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and
cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change,
and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along
with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the
Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard
to Do."

9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.

10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the
ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps.
Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously.. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the
channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.

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